I grew up in a small, rural area of Michigan with little diversity and where bigotry can be prevalent. But, I grew up hearing my grampa tell his stories about the navy... and the diner that refused to serve his black friend, so all of the navy boys walked out. Maybe it's because of those stories that I became more cognizant of bigotry that is even more insidious when it's disguised in humor.
I also grew up in a church that, I believed, preached a message that emphasized love and forgiveness. I have since become rather disillusioned about the "church" itself, but I've held on to my belief in the message that it emphasizes.
Today, however, I happened across a blog with a picture and a caption about Obama that was meant to be humorous but was really very appalling in its obvious bigotry. The especially hard part for me was that the blog belongs to my childhood minister.
Now, I know that people are not perfect (certainly not me) and that no one church is perfect in living up to the ideals of the message it purports to preach. But, I've been clinging to a small sliver of hope that the message of love and forgiveness that I heard growing up really was meant for everyone.
I know that it is. But it's time for me to find a church where I really am welcome. A church where differences are welcomed. A church where I can find a spiritual home that accepts me, just the way I am.
(Katherine will love this. I always tell her that I could become a Catholic if it weren't for the Pope. Now who's talking. :)
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14 comments:
That is sad. It is even sadder when people say things like, "If you don't see the humor, you don't have a sense of humor." Pffft. I have a great sense of humor, but bigotry and racism are never funny.
You would've enjoyed the discussion Karen and I had over lunch yesterday. :)
You must have held on to your small sliver of hope longer than I did. I think Mom/Dad still hope I'll change, but she did say she was happy that I was bluntly honest with her. She didn't get that when expected from others, and it was just too confusing.
One of my main issues is the judgemental attitude present which people adamantly refuse to admit is present.
Grampa does have some awesome stories. I miss hearing them!
I just want you to know that you've been in my thoughts all day.
The message of love and forgiveness is for everyone. It really is. I saw that post a few days ago, and I did instantly have a thought that he made a poor choice - but I have to hold him in forgiveness as well, I have to remember that he is only human.
I remember an elder telling me as a young child, when I would become frustrated with hypocrisy and that sort of thing - he'd say - Sharyn - you go to church for yourself - don't let what others do, think, say, hide - change that.
I'm the bottom line when it comes to me and what I believe - not a word that I disagree with, or a post that offends me - I'm the only one who will suffer if I choose that as a reason to stop clinging to that message. Does that make sense? I also believe that we've all been offended or in disagreement at some point in our lives, and if we all left for that reason, the church pews would be mighty chilly on Sunday morning.
So, I believe for me, and I know - with all my heart - that that message that I hear is meant for everyone. Me, you, everyone.
And, please know, I would welcome you. Know that, okay? I can't sleep tonight until you know that. ;) It's how my sleep clock works.
God's peace
Sharyn
Sharyn makes a very good point. I do agree with her, and you, that the message of love and forgiveness is for everyone. You would not be able to find a perfect church, I believe. In my short list of experiences, you will always find personal actions and beliefs that do not always follow the general messages. You have to choose to believe, and attend the church, for yourself and not for anyone else. Sharyn is able to say this much more eloquently than I am.
I left church for personal reasons, not solely because I did not agree with a lot of what I heard, saw, and felt. At some point, I may resume attending our childhood church or find another one that matches my personal beliefs; I am not sure. I have grown to understand that no matter where I go, I will always encounter people who make a few, or a lot of, decisions that are opposite of what they say they believe.
You do need to find a place where you feel completely welcomed, and I am confident that you will. Just as I am confident there would be many back home, including Sharyn, that would welcome you no matter what.
This made me think of one other thing; I have to thank you for being there for me during one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. You may not have agreed with my decision, but you were there for me nonetheless. I love you for that and for many other things.
Time for bed. Laura :)
I hope you find a church that's right for you, Amy. I know for me, it's not easy to reject something that has been so pervasive in my life. I think I've been putting off a conversation with my family that I need to have, in order to be honest with them. Thanks for the post- it really made me stop and think.
Laura is right in that there is no perfect church... after all, churches are made up of people...and where there are people, you will find imperfect love. However, some get closer to real love and truth than others. I could no longer stay there when I realized that the small fragments of truth that are found there are but a tiny spark compared to the large amount of deception that has fooled the church. As a great place to start finding your bearings, I would highly recommend the Noomas (short dvds) done by Rob Bell of Mars Hill. They are phenomenal and really make you think.
Racism and bigotry disguised as humor is NOT okay, no matter how "funny" someone thinks it is. It's deplorable and disgusting and straight from the pit of Hell.
Thanks for your comments, everyone. I appreciate them all. :)
Hi Amy, I haven't been to your blog in a long time. A friend pointed out this post to me and after reading it, I can't in my own heart, ignore it.
I, too, wish to extend to you the same words that Sharyn wrote so elequently in her comment.
I often find it troubling how much bigotry, racism, and off-putting humor is lurking around us, too. It's everywhere, not only in our church...
On the other hand, there are just as many 'nonjudgmental' people out there as well, even in our church, but we all are sinners and we all make poor choices and mistakes, from time to time. That is why we have that beautiful message of forgiveness. I know that we can only believe for ourselves, that is all that God asks of us.
That message of love and forgiveness will prevail regardless of how many sinners stumble and fall into temptations of bigotry and poor judgement. God extends that wonderful message to each one of us. There is no such thing as a 'perfect' church. The only thing in this world that is 'perfect' is the blessed forgiveness in Jesus' name and precious blood.
What more beautiful thing could we wish for than to have our sins washed away in that forgiveness which is whiter than snow? None of us could ask for anything more. For each one of us is a sinner and that message is for everyone. It is for you, for me, and for anyone else who wishes to believe in it.
We each have to answer for ourselves on the Last Day. It isn't easy for any of us to walk on this narrow way, we all stumble and fall. There is much destruction and ill-will extended to each of us in our travels. The devil works hard every day to make our lives as difficult as he can. But what a blessing it is to know that everything can be so simple as believing. Believing for our own selves. In our own heart. Nothing more. Nothing less.
I believe, too, that it was a poor choice to put such a picture on the blog. That's why I hope it will ease your mind, if even a little, to know that as far as I know, Pete has not been operating his blog himself. Or at least he hadn't been as of a week or so ago. Due to his illness others had taken over the posts on his blog...
~ Jennifer
We are only vessels of sin. Please remember this and do not harden your heart to the grace blessing of forgiveness for yourself or for others.
Hi Amy. I just saw this post tonight and have to say, we all sin all of the time, every day. Our ministers are no different from us. (I didn't see what you are referring to, so I want to clarify that I just mean sins in general, whatever they are) That's why they so often ask for forgivness too. Everyone needs to be carried with love and forgivness. I'm thinking of you and saying this with love. I feel like all I ever have is a sliver of faith, please don't give yours up. God's Peace.
hehe.. you can leave the church, but you can never get away from the sermons, I guess.
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